The sun is shining, the weather's great and you can hear the call of Cicadas when you step outside. Cicada males are just singin' their tune, hoping to mate with a beautiful female so that they can hurry up and die in peace - what a great way to go! It's such a nice day today, isn't it? But wait... it's not such a nice day, because you're frickin' stuck in your damn office. You can't not be there; you have work to do and can't even take a day off to live life like it's really meant to be lived. What can you do in this case? Well, I'll tell you what you can do!
-You can come in earlier than your stupid colleagues, turn on the lights, your computer and plunk your half-finished coffee down on the desk. Then, step out for the rest of the day. People will think you're merely not at your desk.
-If there's a colleague that you hate and you have to collaborate with him/her on a project... just treat the person really harshly and don't be at all friendly. Let them know that you don't give a crap and you'll only do the minimum required. That'll keep 'em off your back and they'll finish up the work alone and without complaint.
-Do your work, but erase or alter the work of colleagues that you hate. This way, it'll seem like you're much more efficient and are working much harder than they are (since all their garbage is handed in late).
-Listen to podcasts as you're "working": just make sure to continually stare at the screen and randomly tap your keyboard.
Well, those are all my suggestions for today. Go and do something you enjoy.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Workplace Got You in Chains?
If the company where you work (I avoid using the terms, "my company," or "your company," because obviously, it is someone else's device of torture.) is not a Results Based Performance (RBP) environment such as Best Buy's is - there are measures that each of us must take in order to pass the time when we are doing absolutely nothing, but nonetheless tethered to the desk. So, without further ado, here are the tips (and dear time-killing readers, please contribute!):
- Create a blog and post stuff, just like me!
- Check your e-mail for a really, really long time.
- Take bathroom breaks just to wash your hands.
- Start a conversation with the most talkative person the office.
- Go out a back door and do whatever you want for a while (one of my favorites!).
- Download e-books and read 'em on your computer (it's got to look like you're working).
- Start an online business and manage it with company time (company within a company).
Hmmm... that's all I can think of for now. The most important point is that you've either got to be invisible (not at your desk), or you've got to be looking like you're doing something. Make sure you walk around fast, so it looks like you're going somewhere "important." Just remember, because of the Internet, we can waste so much more company time than was possible in the past! And make friends with your IT guy, for "advantages."
- Create a blog and post stuff, just like me!
- Check your e-mail for a really, really long time.
- Take bathroom breaks just to wash your hands.
- Start a conversation with the most talkative person the office.
- Go out a back door and do whatever you want for a while (one of my favorites!).
- Download e-books and read 'em on your computer (it's got to look like you're working).
- Start an online business and manage it with company time (company within a company).
Hmmm... that's all I can think of for now. The most important point is that you've either got to be invisible (not at your desk), or you've got to be looking like you're doing something. Make sure you walk around fast, so it looks like you're going somewhere "important." Just remember, because of the Internet, we can waste so much more company time than was possible in the past! And make friends with your IT guy, for "advantages."
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